The day is fast approaching where you will have to broach the dreaded topic of the birds and the bees (if you’re not the type of progressive parent that has done so already). But before that day comes you will likely have to deal with the physical changes your daughter is undergoing as she moves into adolescence, mainly the onset of her menstrual cycle and the development of her body. This means that you will have to take her shopping for her first brassiere, whether she’s ready or not (and she likely won’t be). So here are just a few tips to make the experience easier for all involved.
I remember when I got my first bra at the age of twelve, and I was basically outraged at the entire process. Not only did I not want my body to change; I also didn’t want to start wearing uncomfortable and restrictive undergarments as a result. Thankfully, my mother insisted, explaining both the physical and social implications of failing to wear supportive underwear. Probably wishing to avoid further tears, she also agreed to let me get sports bras, which I found much more comfortable and easy to use than bras of the hook-and-eye closure variety.
The point of this little trip down memory (mammary?) lane is that my mother’s firm yet understanding attitude saved the day, especially considering I was flat refusing to wear a bra in the beginning. While it is certainly within a parent’s purview to issue mandates regarding acceptable clothing, a little bit of patience and a flexible attitude can go a long way towards smoothing things over with a young woman that is suffering hormonal changes and trying to cope with a body that no longer feels like her own. If you can’t remember back to your own first bra-buying experience, at least try to imagine what it might feel like if you suddenly grew an extra limb and had to change your wardrobe accordingly. You might feel awkward, unsure, exposed, and defensive, just like your daughter probably does. So take it slow and try not to push too hard.
Of course, another option is to try to make it fun. Your daughter isn’t the only one in her peer group going through this change, so consider calling up other moms amongst her circle of friends to arrange bra-buying party.
Get all the girls together in a group and head to your local department store to find brassieres en masse. This could help them to feel more normal about the experience, and since they’re getting to an age where peer acceptance is of the utmost importance, seeing other girls shopping and having fun could alleviate some of the strangeness they feel concerning their physical transformation. Although you might not find this site suitable for helping your daughter to overcome the feelings of embarrassment that sometimes accompany the onset of adolescent changes (especially if she’s a bit shy), a trip to the mall with her friends could be just the ticket to help her accept that she is becoming a woman. So try to remain understanding throughout the process and keep in mind that her peers may be more helpful than you at some point. Whatever allows her to be comfortable with the prospect of wearing a bra is worth a try.
