I had a baby to look after seven years ago and a toddler. It was different with diapers, wipes, high chairs, cribs, and strollers to push.
My younger friend has two boys. Their age gap is almost identical to mine, but they are seven years ahead of us. As we sipped coffee together and discussed how sleep-deprived she was, she asked me if I would be willing to share more about raising babies and toddlers at the same time.
The same friend texted me last week to tell me that her son ran after seeing the laundry pile on her living room floor for over a day and then jumped into it. He exclaimed with joy that he was throwing clothes all over the place and was jumping into a pile full of leaves. She began to cry in frustration but laughed it off and continued her day as a momma to littles.
My response to her request made me think: What would you say to me seven years ago? It’s not only true, but it is always right when your child has a tantrum. They pass so quickly.”
My friend is a wonderful momma, and I don’t think everything I could say would be applicable. She is so sweet, and I love her so I will try.
RAISE THE KIND of PERSON YOU WOULD LIKE TO KNOW
To My Mommy, I Was 7 Years Ago
1. Choose your battles. Seven years from now, you won’t even remember that you didn’t clean the tub for several weeks. Even if you do, it won’t matter. Your children will, too.
Focus on the most important things and leave the rest aside. You might only be able to manage quality healthy meals, a routine bedtime and some sleep right now. That’s OK. I promise that you will soon be able to clean your home without much hassle. You will soon be able to clean your floors and scrub your kitchen. This is not the right season.
Do not beat yourself up if you don’t get it all done. Choose your top three to four priorities. These are your top three or four priorities. Then, be intentional about using your time wisely. All else can wait.
This is the most important thing. If anyone offers to help, do so.
2. If you don’t know where to start, keep going. It will feel like learning a foreign language, except that you don’t know how to use it.
They learned, and so will we. Do not let your child suffer the consequences of your decisions if you aren’t sure what to do. Don’t assume that if you allow your child to sleep in your bed, he will not return to his parents and have mommy issues at 13. Please don’t assume that your oldest child will be able to go to kindergarten in diapers because he is showing signs of regression. Don’t assume that just because you let your child have breakfast with cake doesn’t mean you will never learn from your mistakes as a mother.
Focusing on the future can cause you to lose sight of what is happening now. This can cause you to freak out.
Take a deep breath, and then move on to the next step. Do the next thing. After they have finished with the cake, you can wipe their sweet little faces and move on to the next thing.
3. All children are welcome to snuggle. Chance. You. Get.
Yes, it sounds familiar. But sweet grandmas, you are 100% correct.
You can snuggle them and let their little smells fill your home. Please take a moment to enjoy the time they spend in your arms while you hold them. In seven years, I have never regretted my time with my boys. You won’t either.
It will take seven years to go by faster than you can even imagine.
Your children need you to be their momma. You are the best person to love and mother your children. Pray continuously, even if you’re in the bathroom with little fingers sticking out under the door. Take a nap whenever and wherever you can. Instead of spending the night in front of the TV, get to bed earlier.
