Secrets of the New Parents’ Club

When you are pregnant, you get a lot of advice, much of it unsolicited.  People want to tell you their experiences and have you learn from their mistakes.  Even complete strangers will go so far as to strike up a conversation in the grocery store line-up just to offer you their best parenting tips and anecdotes.

It can all be a bit overwhelming.  There are a few things though, that no amount of advice will prepare you for.  They are the secrets shared by those in the parents’ club; these experiences are mysterious not because they are closely guarded, but rather because they are inexplicable.

Try as others may to describe the odd feeling of leaving the hospital with your new baby, this is one experience that will take you by surprise.  Yes, you know that you are pregnant and that one day soon you will be coming home with a new baby.  Still it does not seem quite right when they release you out into the wild without any help or printed instructions.

Next, on the ride home you will be absolutely dumbfounded that there is a tiny baby in your car.  “How did that get there?”  You will find yourself glancing over curiously at your new child, and thinking how strange it was that the nurses just let you leave like that.

Last, but certainly not least, is an experience shared exclusively by new mothers.  One day, not long after giving birth you will wake up to find your breasts have been replaced by some large type of fruit–perhaps canteploupes or watermelons.  They will be hard as rocks, leaky and unimaginably huge.  They will be insanely perky and painful.  If you had hopes of going back to sleeping on your stomach, think again; it will be a while longer.

Of course the biggest secret is the indescribable love you will feel for your new baby.  Enjoy it all!  It really does go so fast.

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