It’s difficult to know what to do when your 1-year-old screams at you for candy or throws food from your grocery cart. A child of this age should not be punished, right? Not quite.
Although tactics such as time-outs and taking away privileges do not work on toddlers (they aren’t old enough to link cause and effect), this is a great time to teach your child the concept of right from wrong. Parents often view discipline as punishment. However, the original meaning of the word was to teach. This is what Deborah Roth Ledley, Ph., says in Becoming Calm Mom: Manage Stress and Enjoy Your First Year of Motherhood.
How to Discipline A 1-Year-Old
Roth Ledley says that discipline should focus more on socializing the child and teaching boundaries. These strategies are suitable for children aged 1 and 2 years:
- Distraction
- Consistency
- Staying Positive
- Modeling
- Praise
- Humor
- Reverse psychology
- Silliness
- Enjoy the Fun
Try Distraction
Avoid yelling at your child if they are acting up. Your tone could make them angry or curious. Instead, calmly and quickly get them involved in another activity,” advises psychologist Deborah Roth Ledley, Ph.D., author of Being a Calm Mother: How to Manage Stress and Enjoy the First Year of Motherhood. If your toddler is climbing on the arm of the sofa, move them gently onto the floor and begin reading a story or playing a game together. This will not only stop the unwanted behavior but also teach them that certain things are off-limits, such as climbing on furniture.
Be Consistent
It might seem harmless to let your child eat a cookie “just once” before dinner. If you give in to their demands, they will likely throw another tantrum the next time. Gregory Oliver, a child psychologist at Henry Ford Health System in Detroit, says that it’s crucial to set limits and then follow them through. When it comes to family rules, you and your spouse should also be on the same page. You could cause confusion and frustration if you send your child conflicting messages.
Keep it Positive
You may lose your child’s attention if you use the word “no” all the time. If you say “No!” to your child all of the time, they might start to tune out or, worse, use it whenever they don’t feel like doing something. “Save ‘No!’ Save ‘No!’ in a stern voice. When your child’s behavior is not dangerous, use positive words to command them. Instead of saying, “No!” “Don’t remove your shoes in the car!” Try: “Leave your shoes on until you get home, and then, you can run without them.”
See How It’s done.
Penny Donnenfeld, Ph.D., a New York City-based psychologist, explains that toddlers learn more from what you do rather than what you say. When your child is being too rough at a playdate, model the behavior that you desire. For example, say, “Let’s embrace Emma gently,” and then guide your child into a gentle hug. If you’re having trouble getting your child brushing their teeth at night, include it in your routine.
Praise Good Behavior
Toddlers can act out when they don’t have the communication skills to communicate with you. It is a great way to grab your attention. You should let your child always know that you are pleased when they do something you like or follow your rules. (For example, putting his coat on the hook at the door when he enters). You’ll also teach your child that a good attitude will get them the attention and praise they desire from you. They might even keep up with it.
Hire Humor
They are fascinated by the idea of doing something contrary to what toddlers and pre-schoolers believe. This is because they are still learning how things work. Toddlers love it when you flip the familiar.
Amy Hunter of Mobile, Alabama, and mother to Henry Lukas, and both are 2, said that there is one thing the twins will always find amusing: an object other than a cap placed on their heads. They were screaming because their car seats didn’t suit them. I chose to ignore them and calmly gave them each a Mozart CD and a book for them to read. There was soon silence followed by giggles. When I looked back, I saw that Luke had placed the book on top of his head. When we have meltdowns, everyone will be eating with napkins on their heads. Hunter says that she crawls very slowly, as if it were a baby, up the stairs to get her boys to follow.
Carol O’Reilly claims that she can only convince her 3-year-old daughter Noula to wash her hair in the tub by pretending that the cup of coffee is water. “Noula takes the cup and says ‘Here is your coffee, mom,’ then I spill it all over her head, and she laughs hysterically,” O’Reilly says.
Use Reverse Psychology
Toddlers, by nature, are independent and contrary.
You may feel defeated when your 3-year-old refuses to eat. If you stop forcing them to eat dinner, watch what happens.
“Chloe eat your dinner.”
“I don’t like that!”
You love macaroni & cheese.
“No, I do not!”
“Okay, good. “I’m going back to check on my brother and won’t be long, so don’t touch the food because I will eat it all.”
Chloe is barely able to contain herself when she returns to the kitchen. “Daddy, it’s all gone!” She says as she shows you the empty bowl.
“What?!” You exclaim in mock terror. “I was planning to eat that!”
She laughs, and Daddy laughs. Dinner is over.
This strategy is only effective for a short time. Your 5-going-on-16-year-old daughter may roll her eyes if you try this. “Go ahead, Dad. “It’s yours.”
You’ve spelled the wrong name.
This one is similar to the shock-them-with-silliness strategy above. If you find yourself in a heated argument, try using a name that they are aware is incorrect.
Scott Alexander said, “Come on! We have to get Elmo!” when his oldest daughter refused to stop playing so that they could go and pick up her younger brother from school. This statement was so absurd (“Daddy, Elmo is not at Tommy’s school! “) that it distracted her from what she had been doing. Alexander was able to distract her from her previous activities and get her through the door without any problems. You’re going to have trouble if you don’t get your child into the car.
Use this trick if your children insist that only Daddy is able to pour milk or read a book. (Response: “But I am Daddy!”) This usually results in a scream of laughter that moves the conversation along.
